Repeat the Night
by Crimson Tranquility
Summary: Sometimes you have to lose some to gain some. She would repeat that night over and over again because what she lost was insignificant compared to what she gained. Leonard and Kaname meet again and have a conversation... about Sousuke. Kaname x Sousuke


**Author's Note**: Hello everyone!!!! So I had the idea for this fic many, many months ago after I first saw Full Metal Panic!: The Second Raid. This fic takes place after the ending of TSR, so umm, guess that's a spoiler alert! Anyway, this story is Kaname x Sousuke but it involves the interaction of Kaname and Leonard. Hope that makes sense haha!

Here's the deal, if you read the fic, please please please make every effort to leave a quick review. It really does help me as a writer, not to mention make me happy. Only takes a minute so again, **please review**.

By the way, it's a one-shot. Enjoy!

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**Repeat the Night**

Light shone down, casting an oblong shadow on the lone figure with the bouquet of flowers perched on one arm.

Slow footsteps reverberated around Kaname Chidori as she continued to walk. A light breeze gently shifted her bright blue hair around her face and she stopped for a moment to fix her white cotton sundress.

"Look Mama, look!" A young boy in the park across the street from where Kaname was walking was playing with a small toy, his eyes bright with excitement as he called out to his mother. "I'm an Arm Slave pilot and I'm going to save the world!"

His mother laughed and picked her son up as she twirled him around. "You're going to save the world? Can you maybe defeat the 'Great Tickle Monster' first?" She proceeded to tickle the young boy as he laughed gaily and loudly.

Kaname chuckled a little herself and continued to walk on. A serene smile crept on her face as she thought of her morning with her own Arm Slave pilot, the stoic and awkward soldier.

"_Would you like me to accompany you on your walk?" Sousuke asked the girl who sat across from him at the dinner table._

_Kaname met his dark gray blue eyes and _

_It had been a warm and breezy Sunday afternoon that Sousuke and Kaname had been enjoying together in each other's company._

_After they had gotten back from Hong Kong, Kaname and Sousuke tried hard to fall back into the routine of how things were before… before…_

_Before they had been separated from each other._

_Before they almost lost each other._

_Before they lost themselves._

_They spent school days the same way as before; Kaname would beat Sousuke up for being the strange maniac he was, for blowing up parts of the school with his weapons, and for just being completely neurotic and paranoid. _

_Sousuke continued to follow Kaname around, "protecting" her as it was his "duty" to do so. Kaname didn't mind anymore. _

_On weekends, they would relax in Kaname's apartment. This was different. They would spend time doing absolutely nothing except sitting together, watching t.v. or a movie._

_Because they now knew they had no time to waste on being indecisive. They had no time to waste on being shy and not acting on their feelings. _

_Both of them realized the severity of their situation while they were separated from each other. _

_And the realization had been painful, yet beautiful._

_They needed each other. Absolutely and completely. They needed each other._

"_Chidori?" Sousuke's deep voice invaded her thoughts and she realized that she had been staring off into space while he asked her a question._

"_No thanks, Sousuke. I want to take this walk alone… please." She murmured softly to him, her hands reaching across the table to cover his._

_His eyes softened at the sight of their hands twined together and he nodded slightly. "It's no problem."_

Kaname was pulled out of her reverie with the sound of a shrill bird calling out to its mate. The afternoon sun was setting now and Kaname hurried towards her destination.

And there it was… the lines of shiny gray marble on top of clean-cut grass. The cemetery.

- - - - - -

The blue-haired girl slowly walked past rows and rows of engraved headstones, her eyes focused on her destination.

She had come here before.

It wasn't the same graveyard where her mother was buried but Kaname had visited this cemetery for a different reason.

Suddenly stopping on the small footpath that she was walking on, Kaname turned abruptly and began to walk slowly up the slight hill of tombstones to one lonely grave under a massive willow tree.

Ducking slightly to allow the branches to gently touch the top of her head, Kaname moved until she was by the small headstone. The grass under the willow tree was unkempt and long. It tickled Kaname's toes from her open sandals as she gently knelt in front of the marble that had weeds perched around it and was slightly green from moisture and heat.

She knew this one well because she had come here before.

And because she had been the one to put it here.

Her toffee brown colored eyes gazed upon the hard marble. It was blank. There was nothing else on the headstone. No name etched into the cool marble. No words of remembrance or dates of birth or death. Just a simple tombstone.

But Kaname was well aware of whose grave it was.

_Yulian_.

The young woman with short brown hair who Kaname had only met once.

Once when she had come to kill Kaname and instead found herself under death's spell.

Kaname lay the bouquet of flowers by the cold stone.

- - - - - -

Kaname looked at the marble calmly as she sighed out loud and stood, brushing pieces of grass off of her white sundress.

"Why do you come here?" A soft, husky voice inquired from behind her.

The blood in her veins seemed to freeze up. She recognized that voice. It was a voice that caused her to bring her hand up to her heart in shock and panic. It made breathing rather hard to do. Fear pulsated through her body. And her fingers lightly touched her lips before pulling away abruptly.

She didn't dare turn around.

"Because I want to," she answered stubbornly.

A light chuckle met her lips and she fought the urge to flinch. "You really are a strange one, aren't you? Oh well, I suppose that is all part of your charm."

Kaname's fists clenched. "What do you want, Leonard?"

The silver haired man's eyes widened for a fraction of a second before another chuckle left his lips. "I'm surprised that you remember me simply from the sound of my voice. It's flattering."

Snarling, Kaname turned around in anger and gazed into the face of her nightmares. She didn't dream of Gauron or of Yulian's attempt on her life. No. Instead her nightmares were plagued with visions of a handsome stranger with long wavy silver hair. A stranger who would cruelly lean towards her and…

… kiss her. And it was all wrong.

It wasn't a rough kiss or anything; in fact, it was soft and passionate.

It was the boy who was kissing her that was wrong. All wrong. She didn't want to have nightmares of a silver-haired stranger kissing her.

Kaname would wake up with wet tears on her cheeks, her hand automatically rising to roughly wipe her mouth again and again from the memory of the wrong kiss.

She wanted _dreams _of a beautiful and awkward, handsome and kind young man with dark brown unkempt hair, a scar on his cheek, his blue gray eyes blazing as he leaned towards her mouth…

Then she would call Sousuke and ask him to come to her apartment. He would always answer the phone with a rather groggy voice, a pleasant reminder to her that he was in fact human and needed to sleep as well. No matter how late at night or early in the morning it was, Kaname could expect to hear the faint but firm knocks on her front door a few minutes after she hung up the phone with him.

He would always ask why she was upset, but she would brush it off with the answer, "A nightmare of my past." Because that was the way she wanted to think of it. A memory in her past that should be forgotten.

They would resign to her couch where Sousuke would stretch out across, Kaname lounging on top of him, her head on his firm chest, her bright blue hair shining vibrantly on his plain white t-shirt. They had gotten over the awkwardness of their proximity a long time ago so they would soon fall asleep like that; Kaname's body resting on top of Sousuke's, their breathing synchronized and smooth.

But the nightmares would always return. Because she just couldn't forget something like that night.

When you lose something, whether nominal or of vital importance, it is hard to let the memory go. Until something else fills the void, the suffocating thoughts of what you lost can never disappear. And even when the hole is filled, the memory of what was once there is always present.

The night Kaname found herself utterly and completely alone was the night she almost died.

It was also the night she felt a little bit of her did.

"It's difficult to forget your voice," Kaname spat to Leonard. "Difficult because I've never heard a sound I hated more. It makes me sick; makes me want to puke!"

It was the same words she had said to him when he first leaned in and pressed his mouth to hers…

Face tightening slightly, Leonard let out a laugh that sounded strained, his eyes flickering with dangerous anger. "Now, now, there's no reason to be so hostile. After all, it has been quite some time since we've been reunited, hasn't it? No need to ruin the reunion, my dear."

Kaname shuddered and took in a deep breath. She had promised herself that if she ever met Leonard again…no, when she met Leonard again, because it was inevitable that a man like him wouldn't simply let her go, she would keep a calm and cool head and not let him get to her like last time.

"What do you want, Leonard?" Kaname whispered softly.

"I believe the real question is what do _you _want, Kaname Chidori?" He said, just as softly. His gray eyes looked at her with amusement.

Kaname gazed at him carefully. To anyone else, she supposed Leonard would be considered extremely handsome. His eyes would have entranced many girls. But to her, his eyes were cold.

"Why do you come here? Come to this unmarked grave once every month?" Leonard asked curiously.

Kaname sighed and let herself lean against the trunk of the willow tree as she closed her eyes and lifted her face towards the tree. It would be stupid to ask how he knew she visited here once a month. He somehow had taps on her. "Do you know whose grave this is?" she questioned without opening her eyes.

He frowned slightly. "Not a clue."

Brown eyes met gray ones. "It's Yulian's."

His eyes widened in shock before he could arrange his face back into his usual happy and detached mask. "I believe that I took Yulian's body with me that night," he said calmly as if he hadn't just admitted to murder.

"The grave is empty. It's just a marker for her life," Kaname said, looking back up into the treetop.

"You made it?" He questioned.

She nodded her head.

"That doesn't explain why you would visit the grave of someone who was trying to kill you," he murmured in a slightly patronizing tone as if he was trying to get an explanation from a crazy person.

Kaname frowned slightly before turning to look at him, her eyes blazing. "Even if she wanted my life, you had no right to take hers!"

This response caused Leonard to laugh heartily. Kaname's fists clenched. Seeing her expression, he put up his hands in a pacifying motion, "Sorry, love. It's just that… you are _so_ innocent. She wanted to kill you and you are here defending her against me. As if _I _am the bad guy!"

Scoffing, Kaname turned her face so that she didn't have to look into his amused one any longer. She felt the urge to break his perfectly white teeth and ruin that face. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You've always been nothing more than a cold-blooded murderer."

That wiped the smirk off of his face. "Like your boyfriend?" he countered nastily.

Kaname looked at him fiercely. "No, not like him! Sousuke is nothing like you! He protects the weak and defenseless!"

Arching a perfect eyebrow, Leonard regarded her carefully. "And what did I do that night? Did I not protect you, Kaname?"

"I didn't need your help!" she yelled at him.

"Oh, really? So you're saying that _you_ would have been able to tell when Yulian awoke again, hmm? What would you have done then? Spoke to her? Maybe try to reason with her?" Leonard took a step towards her with each one of his questions until he was directly in front of her, her back against the trunk of the tree as he towered over her form. "Give me a break, Kaname. You are much too innocent to understand anything," he said softly but harshly.

Kaname pressed herself as far back into the trunk as possible, her back aching from the rough texture of the bark. "Sousuke doesn't enjoy it," she said in a normal tone. She didn't need to yell with their close proximity.

Leonard grasped her hands in his, pinning them behind her against the tree. "Ahh, but we've had this conversation before, haven't we? Do you remember how it ends?" His warm breath was on her face as he leaned in towards her.

Kaname's mind whirled in panic. Of course she remembered. After he had thoroughly distracted her with the verbal acknowledgement of her feelings for Sousuke, he had kissed her. She thrashed around until Leonard firmly held her hands further apart, restricting her movement.

Leonard's lips moved towards her and Kaname froze. Just as he was about to touch his mouth to hers, a thought went through her head.

"_You are… beautiful," Sousuke mumbled to her after the competition between the different school clubs to pick up as many girls as possible. Kaname had dressed up in her mother's kimono and pretended to be a married woman interested in Sousuke. The light from the setting sun was bright against the faint blush on his beautiful face as he looked away from her in embarrassment._

"_You are… beautiful."_

He was with her now. He was waiting at home for her. She didn't need to worry, Sousuke was here.

Kaname turned her face and Leonard was met with a mouthful of hair. He looked up at her in surprise.

Meeting his stare, Kaname's eyebrows furrowed. "You aren't him. You'll never be," she said simply but firmly.

He smirked at this. "You are lost in your own utopia. Face the reality of the situation, Kaname. He and I are the same. We are both soldiers, murderers, if you will, who will continue to do what we must. He is no different than I am," he finished seriously.

"You can continue to spout whatever bullshit you want," Kaname glared, "but I know Sousuke has pure intentions. He only wishes to help his loved ones and the people he cares about.

"And am I not the same? I love you, Kaname. I have told you that before. So am I not the same in wanting to protect my loved ones?" he asked.

Kaname snorted. "You don't love me. You don't even know me. What you fe-"

Leonard gripped her hands tightly and leaned his face closer to hers. "You know nothing about how I feel," he hissed. "If you are still not ready to accept the truth and love I have for you, then so be it, but do not insist my feelings are fake. They are completely and utterly real."

Kaname looked at him with fear in her eyes. The grip he had on her was painful and she was quite aware that he would be able to do whatever he wanted to her at this moment.

Catching the panic emitting from her, Leonard relaxed his grip and moved slightly away from her. "Don't worry, I'm not going to force myself on you," he said, his calm, teasing voice returning.

"I believe you already have," Kaname said angrily, her courage returning.

Leonard blinked before grinning at her. "Ah, yes, I was wondering when exactly we would return to the subject of our first kiss. Shall we have another to add to our relationship?"

She sneered at him. "We have no relationship. I would rather you killed me with your bloodied hands."

His hand came up to grasp her chin in his long fingers. "You know you enjoyed it," he taunted.

Giving a shrill laugh, Kaname met his eyes again. "Yeah, just as much as I enjoyed almost being killed by Yulian."

"Don't fight me, Kaname. I can give you whatever you desire. My love for you is true," he said seriously, all mocking from his tone disappearing.

"It's not you that's allowed to make promises, Leonard. I don't need or want your love," she said.

His cold fingers ghosted over her cheek and she flinched slightly. Leonard's eyes were gazing at a piece of her hair as it gently rose and fell with the breeze. The air around them was chillier and the sun was now almost completely gone from the horizon. "You feel guilty, don't you?" he whispered softly.

Kaname gasped. Of course it was true. Although it was out of her control, she still felt incredibly guilty that her first kiss was with Leonard and not with… not with…

… with Sousuke.

"I… I shouldn't have to." She didn't dare deny that she felt guilty because it would be a blatant lie. "It wasn't my fault!" she cried out, pulling away from the fingers by her cheek.

He stared at her with a smile that would have made hundreds of girls melt. "I said it before and I'll say it now, I've fallen in love with you, Kaname Chidori. There is no reason to feel guilty because of our kiss. Perhaps it'll awake some feelings in you, too."

"Why won't you listen? I don't love you. I don't even like you. In fact, I hate you. Very much. You had no right to kiss me! I don't deserve to feel guilty over something that I had no control over!" she shouted at him, tears brimming her eyes as she struggled to hold back the sobs threatening to rip out of her.

"Then stop feeling guilty about it," he said simply, completely unaffected by her emotional reaction. "Think instead of how my lips felt over yours. I remember it perfectly. The rain was falling all around us in the city lights of the night…"

Kaname thought back to that nightmare of a day. She remembered it alright. It wasn't something you could forget easily. After all, she had almost been killed that night only to have a strange man come up and murder her assassin and then kiss her and proclaim his love for her. All the while, there was an aching emptiness in Kaname's heart for a certain soldier who had mysteriously disappeared.

The rain mingled with the sweat from her body after the fight with Yulian. The blood was pounding in her ears as Leonard crushed the woman's throat with his robot right in front of her. Then he argued with her and reminded her of Sousuke, to which she turned away only to have him request she look at him. When she turned towards him, Leonard caught her off guard and pressed his lips to hers.

Any other day, Kaname would probably have been flattered. Perhaps she would even be giddy. Leonard was a handsome man. Tall, lean body, aristocratic features, long silvery hair and glistening eyes that matched. His warm mouth pressed down on hers softly, yet firmly. Passion was evident as he held her by her arms gently, but possessively. His touch was cold.

_Unlike the warmth Sousuke radiated_.

The thought had her springing away from the stranger and slapping him across the face. His cheek turned pink from the impact.

"My first kiss… my first kiss should have been with Sousuke! I wish it was Sousuke!" she blurted out as she sunk against the bark of the tree, exhausted from the emotional trip Leonard was currently making her go on.

Leonard froze. That seemed to have affected him. But his hold on her hands was still firm, holding her up against the tree, him in front of her.

Kaname heaved her arms away from him and shoved him hard, making him stumble a few steps away from her. "I wish it was Sousuke!" she repeated, agony in her voice as the tears flowed freely down her face.

Leonard gazed at her seriously before he took a step forward and grasped her wrist roughly, pulling her against his chest. "Well, it wasn't!" he snapped angrily. "It wasn't that boy that you are so partial to! The soldier has killed many more than I have, yet you protect him! Why don't you realize it?! Why don't you understand that him and I are the exact same?"

Kaname yanked her hand away from him. "Because you're not! Sousuke would never hurt me!"

Leonard gave a haughty laugh at this. "Oh really? Hasn't he? Or tell me, do you usually walk around in a robe from a sleazy hotel fighting off assassins?" he spat sarcastically.

Kaname gasped. That had been a low blow. "He… he was just following orders! He didn't know… he wouldn't have if he knew!"

Leonard smiled to himself satisfied by her reaction. "Looks like your boyfriend isn't as perfect as you like to think he is."

"You know nothing about him," Kaname said calmly.

"Sousuke Sagara is a soldier. He is only good at being a soldier. He can never care about you, Kaname, not like I can. He doesn't know how to," Leonard said softly, their voices returning to a normal conversation instead of a heated yelling match.

"You're wrong about him. Sousuke _is _a soldier. But doesn't define him. Sousuke is… so much more than just that. He _does _have feelings and cares about the people he works so hard to protect, often times at his own risk. You can never understand him, Leonard," Kaname murmured confidently.

Leonard shrugged. "Time will only tell. But one day you will become tired of waiting for the impossible, Kaname. I'll be there that day."

They stared at each other, each confident and unyielding in their own assertions. The sun had set, the darkness of the night was only lightened by the moon and stars overhead.

Leonard gazed at Kaname. "I suppose I should get going." He turned away.

"Leonard," Kaname said softly. He stopped but didn't turn to look at her. "Your first question, why do I come here. Because although that night is a nightmare for me, I realized something. Something that I would repeat that night for any time. I realized that Sousuke means everything to me. Everything," she said firmly.

Leonard began to walk away again, but not before saying softly, "I'll leave you with this promise…"

He left with the same parting words as before.

"_Well then, till next time."_

It was more of a threat to her than a promise.

- - - - - -

Kaname walked slowly to her apartment, her feet dragging slightly from the exhaustion she felt. She knew that Sousuke could care for her, that he could be something other than simply a soldier. Him leaving his comrades in Hong Kong proved that. Him ignoring his commanding officers to go back with her proved that.

… Right?

He cared about her, right? He wanted to be with her, right?

Deep in thought, Kaname didn't even realize she had made it up to the front door of her apartment until she stood in front of it.

The door suddenly flew open, casting the light from inside to flood out onto her.

Kaname blinked before she gazed into the eyes of none other than the object of her thoughts, or well the person. Sousuke.

"Sousuke?"

She suddenly felt embarrassed, her mind filled with thoughts of the boy in front of her, who was currently staring at her, his blue-ish gray eyes smothering as he gazed at her seriously. He stepped forward and pulled her into the apartment, closing the door behind them.

"I was worried, Kaname. You were gone for such a long time." He stepped back slightly to look at her with concerned eyes. "Are you alright? I… I tried to make us… dinner. I already had Kurtz try it… to make sure it's edible. I've… I've never done it before ," he added, scratching his nose in embarrassment as he gestured over to the dinner table that was full of different plates of steaming food.

He had never made dinner before. Kaname smiled a genuine smile.

"Thank you," she said softly. Looking at him carefully, Kaname stood on her tip toes and gently kissed his soft cheek.

Sousuke turned red and looked in the opposite direction.

Kaname gave a small giggle at his embarrassment and turned to walk past him, hoping to wash up before sitting down to the dinner Sousuke made.

As she was just passing him, Sousuke's hand flew out and grasped her wrist, spinning her around straight into his arms. He wound his muscular, lean arms around her lithe body, his head falling to gently rest on her shoulder.

"I… I missed you," he murmured softly, his body warm against hers, his breath falling lightly across her neck.

Kaname knew he didn't mean just today. He meant their painful past separation.

And that was all the vocalization she needed. Yes, Sousuke was a soldier and yes, maybe he had a painful past. But he was not the same as Leonard. He wasn't just a soldier. He was a human being. It would take time, but they had all the time in the world now and Kaname knew he would open up.

She would make it her mission to save Sousuke from a lonely and isolated life. She would make him feel and understand.

Sometimes you have to lose some to gain some. She would repeat that night over and over again because what she lost was insignificant compared to what she gained.

She needed Sousuke. And she knew it.

Kaname felt a prickle of wetness in her eyes and took a gasp of air before winding her own arms around Sousuke's back and holding onto him, dropping her own head onto his shoulder.

"I missed you, too."

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Awww!!!! Did ya like? This is how I imagine another meeting between Leonard and Kaname and how she cries and tells him her first kiss should have been with Sousuke. Could you imagine the scene? Let me know! Please review!


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